/ / m a i n / /
so as the title self explains, today's post will be a wordy, personal one, about how i'm coping with the transition from JC days to uni days.
i know many of you said i haven't been posting about personal stuff lately, which i admit is true, as i've been busy clearing ads and style/food posts.
i do talk abit about daily events on dayre though!
so... yes, the transition.
to be honest, i wasn't looking forward to uni life at all.
its taking a step out of my comfort zone, having to socialize and make friends again from scratch, going into lectures alone maybe and just, being solely independent.
and not just that, it didn't help that my primary school friend told me that "mean girls" from her school are going to my faculty, and i was like "oh gosh why.... *sobs*"
and so i was telling D im just gonna be a loner in uni alr lol.
although uni hasn't really started for a long time, here's my take on it so far, based on the orientation camp i've been to and the "feels" i got from going to campus several times.
in short, all i can say is, uni has popped the protective bubble i have lived in all my life.
hwachong was a protective bubble to me.
the people there were mostly similar, generally mild and good natured, with similar backgrounds.
most people were aka "guai kias", and i won't deny i'm one of them.
in hc, clubbing, smoking, drinking were generally frowned upon, and for the milder ones, even vulgarities were included in the list.
having been in this kind of environment, my mindset was kind of parallel to the list above.
and when i went to uni, where everyone is so diverse and different, i saw the lifestyles differences and had a cultural shock.
no, i am not saying the way they lead their lives are wrong, im just saying its so vastly different from the things i've seen the past 19 years of my life.
but well, i guess as you move on to a different phase of life, adaptation is strongly needed.
i used to cringe at vulgarities, but this past month, i've been exposed to it so much that i can safely say i can manage a sort of neutrality towards it now.
the first day of camp, we learnt cheers, most of which were filled with sexual terminologies and hidden meanings.
i was shocked of course, i was thinking "oh wow. everyone is so open and how are they not embarrassed while saying all these?"
so yes, the first day i was just kinda stunned and busy taking in the new environment.
the group games we played(truth or dare, burning bridges) largely involved a sexual aspect as well,
and most of the terminologies were far beyond me.
one thing i learnt is that i shouldn't ask "eh what does this mean ah" cos its just awkward max lol!
so yes, in cases like this, just pretend to know and maintain a neutral face lolol.
in general, people were nice and friendly and i've made quite a few good friends already!
undoubtedly though, as we grow older and get exposed to the world's evils and not so pretty side, we tend to get abit more skeptical and judgemental of others.
which i have to admit, sometimes i'm guilty of too.
but as much as first impression matters alot, i hope people do believe in giving others a chance to prove those stereotypes and judgements wrong.
at the end of camp, we did this activity of writing farewell notes to each other, and the ones i received were rather interesting.
to quote a few, "you're really different from what i though you would be!"
"you're really different from what i expected you to be. i thought you were the spoiled, arrogant kind"
"at first i was really scared cos i thought you were the da xiao jie kind, got temper one, but i realized that isnt true!"
and even my ogl said "at first i thought you were the dao dao, da xiao jie kind but no, you proved me wrong".
i never knew that was the first impression i posed to others, like honestly!
but thank you guys (my og mates) for giving me a chance to show you guys who i really am, beneath that instagram facade, which i have a love hate relationship with.
sometimes, (even before this camp), while playing games like shoot shag marry, people point at me and the reason would be "becos i think she's pretty lor".
i'm not saying i agree with that, i'm just bringing this up because after this kind of thing happens repeatedly, it becomes quite saddening.
its as if thats all i am, as if thats all others see me as.
but at the end of camp, i received a few farewell notes that i'm truly grateful for.
"thank you for being so friendly to me! i'm so sorry you constantly only get comments on your looks-you are much more than that."
to those who gave me notes like these, thank you so much :')
what i'm saying is, even if this happens to you, don't let it seep into your mind, because once it does, you start to lose track of yourself, and start to focus on the material, physical aspect such that you forget the more important things you want yourself to be.
i can say this because really, been there, done that.
its a vicious little thing, feeling like you have to be perfect all the time and maintain a certain image and act a certain way to fulfil others' expectations and not let them down.
but i've realized that none of that matters, and i hope everyone does too, because you aren't living your life for others.
okay sorry for the sidetrack haha.
uni to me, is also alot about responsibility and self-sufficiency.
for me, i'm still going to work while in uni.
uni is not going to be cheap, and while i'm very lucky and thankful that my financial situation can do without working and just focus on studies, i still decided on juggling both.
for those who never worked before, i can tell you that it feels amazing when you can work to earn your own keep and not depend on others.
its a feeling of achievement and a confidence booster.
of course it takes a load off the breadwinner of the family as well.
i had to leave halfway during camp on some nights to settle work stuff and i'm sorry to my og mates for that!
but thank you guys for being understanding.
so yes, with so much on my plate, discipline is another thing thats so crucial if i want to balance work and studies well.
i'm not fully confident that i'll be able to juggle both with ease but wish me luck!!
okay, that was a lengthy post phew.
in short, to me, uni is a time to grow up, learn a lot more about life beyond books, be a larger part of society and have the time of your life.
i wasn't ecstatic about uni but really, life goes on and its all about making the most out of it :)
till the next;