Friday, 7 November 2014

November Blues

Hi everyone hope you've all been well while i was mia-ing!
So.. the first week of As have passed, 2 out of 5 subjects are over:)
Thats pretty quick right? 1/3 of the journey is over.
If you ask me how i feel about everything so far, the word to describe it would be..nonchalant?
I've been really, really calm and emotionless about it so far, im honestly not sure if its a good thing?
Before papers i certainly do mug even till the last minute, but i don't feel anxious or scared? 
I was talking to my classmate yuan d about this and she said maybe its because i feel prepared LOL.
I mean, i did what i could, covered whatever materials were provided to the best of my abilities, but honestly i wouldn't say i felt super prepared. Which then makes not feeling nervous pretty weird right?
My logic is that i've been mugging for exams since time immemorial (LOL GP), so much that i have become numb to it.. :x 
Anyways i'll just take it that its a good thing since being calm helps my head stay clear and focused.

So anyways if you guys were wondering why i've been mia-ing for so long even though the exams only started last week, lets just say preparations for it started way before. 
One whole month back if i remember correctly?
So its been one month plus of being cooped up in the house, there has seriously been entire weeks when i didn't leave the house at all, especially during the so called "holidays" which is just a convenient way of masking the fact that everyone is hardcore mugging. 
Honestly, i don't dislike/hate studying.. but when you do nothing but mug.. and mug... and mug for an entire month, it gets kinda sian if you know what i mean :/ 
Like, my daily ritual is basically just, wake up, wash up, eat, study, eat, bath, study, eat, study, sleep.
Next day? Loop it.
Like wow it can even be summed up in a sentence.

And because i've been staying at home so much, i think my self-esteem is going abit downhill cos you know, seeing myself in an eternal cui state 24/7 just has that effect >< 
Dressed in a random old tee and shorts, hair pinned up, geeky specs, horrible eyebags, lethargic vibes.
I think i've been instantly auntie-fied LOL.
Even when walking down to open the mailbox i'm like, omg i hope there are no neighbours around to see me like this zzz. 
And last week when D came over to pass me a stack of foolscap (i was sick so i bailed on the study sesh/cld'nt go to sch to get them myself), i was secretly like "omg im in maximal cui state leh 我不要见人了-sobs-.." But ok la when i complained/whined about it he still told me im pretty as always LOL, so thanks for being a great friend and making me feel a little better hahaha.

When taking a short break in between subjects nowadays, i keep thinking about what will happen after this monstrous exam period is over. There's a lot of exciting things to look forward to, like prom (even tho im not going for it officially), korea trip, nepal trip, possible taiwan trip, cafehopping, spending time with family, and just starting a new life. To pursue my passions which i have been patiently waiting for the right time to dedicate time to, and just doing the things i truly love. 
Hope this acts as a motivation from now till the end of this period:) 

Anyways i know this whole post has been kinda meaningless but if you managed to read till the end and tolerated my nonsensical ramblings.. good for you hahaha. Sorry for sounding like a spoiled brat.. everyone needs a rant day right? 

Okay see you guys in a while!
 I'll still post my pre-prepared drafts kay!

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