Hey all:) Soo... its 12:41am and i have this sudden urge to blog. I have not finished my essay planning for GP tomorrow, its halfway done. So what made me stop work and decide to blog? well.. I think I just needed to let some stuff/emotions out.
I know this blog so far isn't one which is filled with my thoughts and emotions, mostly its fashion/beauty related because thats my interest lies and its what makes me happy, as superficial as it is. Most of my readers think that I'm the perfect girl with the perfect life, having a 'rich' dad, born with a silver spoon, 'smart', entering an elite school, 'pretty' etc. All quotes from people who have left me comments telling me about how lucky I am/ how they wish they could be like me. Well... I'd say, its not always rainbows and sunshine for me as well :/
I'm definitely NOT an emo person, seriously if its one thing i can't stand its being emo ._. Most of the time I'm a really happy person, always laughing and stuff. If something bad happened I'll probably brood over it for awhile/worry awhile and then after awhile just have the "aiya, heck it im not gonna care anymore" kinda thinking and then go back to being happy. Of course if its something that requires effort/fixing then I'd do something about it la. Im talking about failing quizzes and crap lol.
So yea... recently since JC curriculum has started it has been really intense, if I would say so myself. Everyday I'll be studying and studying, chionging homework, on the weekends I'll go for GP tuition which is actually pretty fun cos i can spend time with syl but still its work, and then go back to chionging revision for tests the following week. This has gone on for some time now, week after week i'm repeating this cycle and i'm tired.
Not to mention my commitments to CCA 4 times a week till about 7.30pm each session. Many people think its easy to be in a choir but i tell you you have never been so wrong if you have that mindset lol. Alot of times choir practices taxes my brain more than studying. The immense amount of focus you have to have each practice is incredible. Not only focus, as my conductor said, you need your brains, your heart and definitely your soul. The journey to SYC has been so rocky that you'll scrape your heels the moment you touch the ground. The amount of scoldings, disappointments, sadness, helplessness, indescribable. But I'm glad that through it all I've had my batchmates by my side, a smile and JY or just that connection that you have with each other is pretty amazing.
What has been tiding me through these weeks of boredom is definitely my friends and batchmates. So much love for them all really. Sometimes the whole week I'll just look forward to the one friday night after a tiring day at cca to have dinner with my batchmates/friends and wind down abit. Its literally the thing that keeps me going. I'll be like, "survive till friday, and you'll get the fun and happiness you deserve this week." Is that how I have to measure rewards now? one week of hard work, 2 hours of the fun deserved?
This led me to think about how life has been so far. It has been so hectic that i feel its becoming a sad state. However on a side note this has been just some reflections and thoughts I've had. And..You know what? I'm gonna be strong and suck it up, stop complaining, cos I believe I can handle what is coming my way. And I'm gonna make the most of my time here in HC, its tough, but with the friendships made, I know it'll be one of the best times in my life as well :) SYC is coming up so so soon, we are having problems that needs urgent fixing, but I know, really trust and know that at the end of it I'll come out of it a better and more resilient person, standing at the warfront side by side with my dear batchmates. Just watch us :)
If you are a fellow student and have any thoughts about this post/just a random comment, feel free to drop them here: