Solace

hello, its 1:15am now and i'm here being a night owl again.

the sense of accomplishment feels really good.

finally finished the dedication book, after alot alot alot of writing.

i felt like i was writing econs essays again haha, and i actually miss it (yes i'm an econs nerd)

i sincerely hope that the book will bring some solace to the ones we're giving it to.

i know its not much but at least its something.

so why am i here and not sleeping?

because i feel disappointment and anger bottling up inside of me and i usually use this space to vent these emotions.

these people i thought i knew, are such huge disappointments.

seriously all i can say is, where are your morals?

for someone who dedicated so much of her time, effort and love for us over the years, you don't even want to spend a mere 5 minutes to pen down some thanks?

even when ali and i offered the option of sending us your message via text and we will write it for you.

not even that, seriously?!

don't you know whats called "reciprocate other's kindness"?

she spent hours and hours marking our work, even into the wee hours.

she read our reports again and again, even when we ourselves are sick of it.

she skipped lunch so that we can have consults and clarify our doubts.

and most importantly, she loved us and genuinely cared for us.

i'm really thankful to those who specially made the trip down to my house to pen their heartwarming messages.

and to those who really had a legit reason, couldn't make a trip down but still penned down the messages yourself, thank you as well.

now why am i upset?

because i'm honestly so disappointed in some.

you know who you are.

the ones who had time to go out every week,  go for fine food, publish it all over social media?

and yet have no time to do this, or simply rush out an insincere, half hearted post and make someone else do the job and write it out for you. 

some really do have a legit reason, and i understand, the sin of procrastination is not as deadly when you at least have sincerity. 

whats on the outside may attract eyes, but nothing matters if you don't have a beautiful character.

seriously, i am not the only one disappointed. 

the rest of the class is too.

there's honestly no excuse, because we all had one month to do this.

it all boils down to whether you actually cared.

through this, it shows so clearly who are the ones we should keep at our sides and those who aren't worth the time.

you may put up an angel, perfect front, but who are you really?

the rest of us can see.

(update/ those who clarified, thank you, it matters. those who didn't even bother, i have nothing to say anymore.)