Hi guys! I'm sorry for not updating often (again)!
And at this rate i'll have to apologize on this space every time i do update haha.
So.. its another wordy post today, but today's post is really special to me, because through it i've really changed my whole perception on the idea of love and relationships. My senior shared this post on facebook and i just happened to click on it cos i was feeling bored that day.
And i've never resonated with and felt so deeply for any article before.
Before i read this, i have to admit that when it comes to relationships, i have a very opinionated view of how i want it to be. I was very much into the idea of waiting for the "perfect one" and solely that person only. I was entrenched in my notion of forever, and to me, anything that fell short of that doesn't deserve to be considered. But yes after reading the article it gave me alot of new insights and fresh perspectives. I realised that because of my stubborn view, i was forcing myself to be in a bubble and pushing a lot of people away. Everyone deserves a chance and i didn't do that. I was cancelling out all the options simply because a few or even just one of the criteria was not met. And after that i can't help but think, "What if?"
So.. now i'm seeing things differently. I'll open up my bubble and let people in, because really, " to disregard a love that does
not last forever is to disregard a love that still could be powerful and
life-changing in its own right."
To those who would like to read the article, you can do so here, or if you're lazy to even click on the link, i've pasted the whole article below. Hope it gives you guys as much insights as it did for me:)
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" When you know you’re not the one they’re going to marry, it may not
be because you got into a fight and broke up and you’ll never see each
other again. It may not happen in the middle of plans to marry one
another, it won’t happen after the engagement, when you’re picking out
colors and flowers and invitations. Most frequently, it will happen in
the quiet moments of the morning, or when you look up at the person
sitting across from you at dinner, or when you lie awake in bed at night
and realize your thoughts aren’t about them and that one day, this will
end. It’s a very soft, very small voice that tells you, “this isn’t
‘the one’,” whatever ‘the one’ means to you, but it’s few people that
listen to it before they end up letting their ignorance wreck them.
It will be bittersweet and sad, a final sentencing looming over your
head. Because what you have will one day end, and it will become stark
and apparent as you see couples taking those next steps, whether or not
you want to take them yourself. Whether or not you ever planned on
getting married, whether or not it ever meant much to you. Because even
if you’re not the type to get married, the act of getting married isn’t
the thing at play here. It is forever that is no longer up for grabs. It
will loom over you when you realize that you are not ultimately right
for them, and they are not ultimately right for you. That you will not
end up together. That your time is finite.
But not having forever does not mean that this is the end. Not quite.
Not yet. Because love comes and goes, and the people we love come in
and out of our lives with their own reasons, their own rhymes, their own
agendas and sense of timing. And this sense of timing, their reasons
for staying, and their obligation to leave does not mean they loved us
any less, or that what they have with you and feel for you is any less
good or real. Because it is good. And it is true. And whether or not
that good thing amounts to the kind of love we’re told to search for,
the kind of love we’re groomed to want to meet at the end of an aisle
some day and somewhere — the fact of the matter is that we still have
it. That we still love someone, and they hopefully love us. And that is
precious and rare, and to end it sooner rather than later just because
you fear the end, is to take for granted the fact that you have it, that
you found it, that it’s still love.
We build up all these notions of finding the one, of searching for
forever and the future and the not-so-distant horizon that sometimes we
forget about right now. Because the person we are in the moment needs
love, too, whether that is a forever sort of love or a love that manages
to take care of us here and now. Your middle school crush is not your
high school sweetheart is not your college fling is not your first
live-in lover is not your rebound is not your long-term is not your long
distance is not your forever. Each one serves their purpose. Each one
is special, and one person can embody some or all of these lovers, but
multiple people can play different roles, too. What you need is what you
need. What you need is love.
And so when you realize that the person you’re dating is not the
person you’ll marry, you’ll want to let them down easy, to avoid wasting
their time. But how could loving someone be a waste of time? How could
wanting to see them happy be anything but productive?
I am not the one for you, you’ll whisper in those quiet moments when they’re asleep and your mind is racing beside them. I
am too loud and too opinionated and we disagree on politics and I can’t
stand your mother and you hate avocados and who hates avocados and
something just feels off between us and denying that doesn’t work;
denying that feels like settling.
And your mind will keep going and going because you’ve figured out
that it will all end, but still, sometimes it’s worth it to keep going
because you don’t quite know how or why or when yet. Sometimes you need
to just see. Sometimes it’s worth it to read the story anyway, no matter
the spoilers. Because even tragedies have their happy moments and their
jokes and their comic relief and the memories that are worth
discovering on their own merit. Because to disregard a love that does
not last forever is to disregard a love that still could be powerful and
life-changing in its own right. Because you never know what the future
has in store until you get there. Because you never know, you could be
wrong. Maybe you want to prove yourself wrong. Maybe, you think. Maybe I am the one you will marry after all.
And because right here in this moment, if you love that person in the
here and now, whatever the future has in store, then loving them now is
what you should still do. "
Credits to Ella Ceron, original article from thoughtcatalog.
xoxo;
Till the next:)
